Life

12 Lies everyone tells you about university

  1. You’re flatmates will be instantly become your life long friends

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You’ll probably end up strongly detesting the majority of them by second year.

  1. You go out every single night and return with wild and ridiculous stories

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  1. Everyone experiments with drugs

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I don’t think weed really counts anymore hun.

  1. That you’ll attend every single lecture and make the most of your massive loan

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Paying £9k to nap everyday could be seen as a waste of money by some…

  1. That you’ll practically live in the library

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lol where’s the library?!

  1. That halls is really, really fun.

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Halls is really, really shit.

  1. That you’ll graduate with a 2:1 and 50 sexual partners

  1. That your long distance relationship will definitely work out

Not gonna happen.

  1. Students eat beans on toast and super-noodles 24/7

If this was true we’d have a generation of very malnourished 20 year olds.

  1. You’ll have loads of opportunities to visit your friends at other unis

Think again…

  1. Your uni is inadequate because it’s not in the guardian top 10

  1. You won’t miss home that much

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Uncategorized

How to cook for less than £2 a day for a week in about 10 minutes

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As a student I know how tight money is rent day but there is no reason for you to starve in order to keep a roof over your head, when you can eat healthily for less than the price of 2 Jagerbombs.

  1. Buy your ingredients in bulk, this means that you can freeze any extras for another day without them going off.
  • You will need:
  • 1X Bag of frozen peppers
  • Pre-prepared stir fry pork
  • Large packet of egg noodles
  • Jar/sachet of sauce of your choice
  • 1x saucepan
  • 1x frying pan
  1. Firstly, put a drop of sunflower oil into your frying pan, add a handful of the pork and continuously stir. Meanwhile add one portion of noodles to your saucepan with 250ml of water, when water boils turn down the heat and allow simmering.
  1. When the meat is no longer pink add a handful of peppers and continue stirring until meat has browned and peppers are no longer frozen. This should only take 5 mins. Add sauce to the pan stirring on a slightly lower heat to avoid it sticking to your pan.
  1. By now your noodles should be ready to be drained, use a collindar or if you don’t have one drain the water with a pan lid. Add noodles to the meat and stir in until fully mixed. If you want to experiment with herbs or spices add them now.
  1. Carefully pour onto a plate and enjoy your meal, put all left over meant and frozen veg into either the freezer/fridge and enjoy throughout the week as a substitute to your usual weekly Chinese. Alternatively cook a big batch and store in tubs so you don’t have to cook.
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Reviews

‘Safety Not Guaranteed’ Review

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With a plot so rife with twists and turns safety is most certainly not guaranteed whilst watching this indie/sci-fi infusion. Starring the ever-sarcastic Aubrey Plaza as jaded magazine intern Darius, who volunteers to assist her arrogant boss Jeff (Jake Johnson) investigate a mysterious ad placed by a supposed time-traveller.

At the start of the film we have the cliché melancholy plot that hangs over many indie films: dead mother, no social life and a dead-end job however this all changes within the first 10 minutes as Darius is chosen to go out into the field and track down the author of an ad requesting a partner to go time-travelling with: Kenneth (Mark Duplass).

Plaza’s famous dry humour brings realism and comic relief to a seemingly zany plot whilst tackling darker undertones, as the film continues we gradually learn more about Kenneth and attempt to decipher the state of his mental health; is he nuts or a genius? As Darius and Kenneth form a close bond and begin to realise that things in the present aren’t so bad after all, the film starts to shift into rom-com territory we are under the impression that there’ll be a sweet happily ever after- which is the precise moment when everything changes and we’re brought right back to Earth again with a tear-jerking plot twist.

A refreshing change from your average indie films, Safety Not Guaranteed is well written, cast and directed. Definite must see for anyone looking for something a bit different from the likes of ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’, that will actually leave you feeling good after you’ve watched it rather than depressed and sobbing. I rate it 4/5 stars and suggest that you wear your seatbelts and helmets for this emotional rollercoaster ride!

 

 

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Uncategorized

Primark Accessories Haul

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At university I was recently set a sill-life brief, my first instinct was to head down to Primark and get as much random/cheap jewellery as humanly possible. I think I spent around £20 which I regret now having just checked my bank balance but I thought I’d share the fruits of my labour avec tu :)

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Looks

OOTD: Leather me up.

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Excuse the gormless look on my mug, this is my latest eBay bargain – as far as I’m aware this skirt/similar versions are still being sold at Topshop for £40+ but I bagged mine for £9.50!  Remember the first rule of online shopping: Check eBay first! The vest top I’m wearing was £1 from H&M – YES £1 – WTF RIGHT?!

These leather look skirts are excellent for adding a bit of texture and sass to any boring outfit and can be paired with almost anything, it’s just a case of being creative and resourceful with what you’ve already got. I will be making this little number a staple piece from now on!

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Life

Faith Dates: Keen Kevin

tumblr_n24hnr8Qzk1rufg6eo4_1280 One October night during freshers’ week, there was an American ‘frat’ themed party at a local student indie night. In an excited and quite possibly delusional state, I assumed this meant fancy dress and turned my room upside searching for the cheerleader uniform I’d been waiting to wear for the past 2 years. Got to the club…it wasn’t fancy dress – nobody was dressed up, not even the freshers. Profanities spilled from my mouth like word vomit as I waited 15 minutes for a vodka & coke as my lovely flatmates put stickers in my hair – obviously I didn’t notice/didn’t care until I caught the eye of a tall blonde guy across the bar. He walked over and said “Can I sing you a song?”, I reluctantly agreed as he sang: “That girl with 5 stickers in her hair” to me and ripped them from my high pony tail.

Half an hour later I had stacked it on the dance floor, cried, then cried more because my mascara had gone in my eyes and I was now “BLIND”. After my recovery Keen Kevin (he wasn’t actually called Kevin), came over again (he didn’t see me stack it) for a chat where he charmed me with his Game of Thrones knowledge and we exchanged numbers. I’d be lying if I wasn’t very smug about this as Kevin as we say in England was “WELL FIT”.

The next day we chatted via text and he invited me to a house party, I declined because well I’d only just met him and we know what happens at house parties don’t we? During general chit-chat he divulged to me that he is a vegetarian and bragged that he used to be a vegan. Now I know a lot of you may see this as a serious plus but I’m really not into the whole ‘preachy vegetarian’ thing which he really, really was and kind of wanted to end things right there. After much discussion with my panel of dating experts (the galz), they said it’s probably not an okay thing to bin someone off for so I continued talking to Kevin despite his dietary requirements. The next day I thought “fuck it”, and agreed to go on a date with Keen Kevin, we had drinks near the harbour whilst he talked about himself/the environment at length and turned everything into a philosophical quote whilst I tried to stay conscious. tumblr_ndbw80dzSO1qfhl14o1_500 There was no spark there, not even a flicker in my opinion but Keen Kevin didn’t seem to take the hint and proceeded to annoy me for the following 3/4 days. Trying to meet up everyday to which I made up a half arse excuse like “I’m making a pasta bake then ringing Hollie”. Still he didn’t get it. To the point where he actually invited himself round – this was the final straw. image1 image2

SERIOUSLY DUDE, GIVE IT A REST!?!

Yeah, there’s no real moral here but I thought you might enjoy my first ‘dating dating’ experience, which I’m not that fussed about doing again anytime soon.

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